Off to Manchester today for my big speech about spaffing billions of pounds on saving the Soul of the North. Thing is, there are dozens of sound chaps up there just itching for some encouragement from Government which would enable them to rejuvenate their businesses and donate more to our great party’s election war chest.
My plan is to build a high speed rail link between Manchester and Leeds which will unite East and West in a smiling ocean of warmth and bonhomie, although apparently there are some issues about the timetable to sort out first.
Meanwhile Nadine Dorries has emerged from Liverpool’s primordial slime to become my junior health minister. Jacob says she’s very clear and straightforward about abortion. Great! I had to jump through all sorts of hoops over that little business with Petsy, and anything to make it easier for a chap to get it done on the QT with no comeback from the Press gets my vote.
Pyramid of Piffle 